Addicted to Restaurants
Are you addicted to restaurants? So are lots of Americans. What used to be a "treat," going out for dinner, has become more common that cooking at home, and we think we're better off? Think again. Restaurant eating, fast foods and highly processed foods are turning us into a nation of tubby's. It's time to take back control of our waistlines.
You choose where you eat, and you choose what you eat. Here are some suggestions to begin to make better choices.
Restaurants Exist to Make a Profit
The bottom line is restaurants exist to make a profit. They pile on the extra butter and rich cream sauces, carmelized sugar toppings, cheese sauce, double-deluxe, new improved, and whatever they can do to make the food so enticing, so delicious, we just cannot resist. Fine for an occasional splurge, but not everyday fare, and herein lies the problem.
Extra Value Meals
McDonalds started the trend by offering slightly larger portions for a bit more money, and every other food establishment quickly followed suit. Extra value they called it. Who wouldn't order a bit more for only pennies? Today nearly every restaurant, fast food or sit down dining, serves gigantic quantities that boggle the mind. There is usually enough food served for two, sometimes three meals.
Reading in Restaurant Confidential (get a copy of this book and read it until it sinks in), the calorie count in the typical restaurant meal is so staggering it ends the surprise of why obesity is rampant and on the rise. Cheese fries with Ranch dressing are listed at having over 3,000 calories and 217 grams of fat (91 of them saturated). That's an entire day's worth of food, and it's considered an appetizer. Most people don't just eat the cheese fries either, so add in the rest of your day's calories and you end up with far more than you may realize.
Anyone who eats out regularly (at least once a day) is likely consuming closer to 5,000 calories a day, which easily explains their being overweight.
Getting the Calories Out of Restaurant Food
Unless you mentally make it okay to pay good money for very plain foods, you're not likely to solve this puzzle. Here are a couple of painless ideas you can put into action at restaurants:
1. Just say NO to super sizing. The size you ordered is already too big. Stop super sizing and you'll save money (see How to Save Money and Lose Weight).
2. Skip the bread and rolls served with most meals. Most family restaurants still serve a bread basket with your meal. Unless it's a fresh baked loaf, or some special bread, just skip it. You don't need to fill up on ordinary bread when you're paying good money for a meal - just push it away - it's not that good. You can do it, if you want to - it's not that hard to simply choose not to put a roll on your plate. Try it, just once and see if you don't walk out of that restaurant feeling strangely powerful.
If you can't skip the rolls, at least skip the butter. That's right. Eat it plain. Bread all by itself is good enough.
3. Stop ordering drinks with your meals. I stopped buying the soft drinks many years ago when I realized they are a huge cash cow for the fast food restaurants. For pennies, they sell you a squirt of syrup and soda water and act like they're doing you a big favor by only charging you $1.29 for a giant 64 oz. soda. Start saving those dollars. If you take the meal home, just don't get a drink, and if you're eating it there, ask for water, or at least switch to diet drinks. Never drink "fat pop."
5. Trim visible fat and skin. You really love the skin - of course it tastes good, it should, it's pure fat. Do you want to get leaner, or do you want to eat fat? You choose. I never eat chicken skin, and never eat the visible fat hanging off a steak, good taste or no. You have to decide what you want more, the second's worth of pleasure of a yummy taste, or a lifetime of carrying around an extra 40 lbs?
6. Ask for a doggie bag at the beginning of the meal. When the food is served, immediately portion off some to take home for tomorrow. Some restaurants always serve too much. Do this at those establishments to get used to the idea.
7. Get a copy of Restaurant Confidential and start checking out how much you're eating. Yes, I mentioned this twice. It's important. If you think eating out isn't causing part of the problem, I say, you're fooling yourself. This little book can help you realize what's been going on, and then you may find it easier to choose other dishes, split the meal into two, or skip some extras.
8. Order one dinner and ask for an extra plate. Many restaurants will do this for $1.00 or $1.50 extra and it's well worth it. Then share the meal with your friend and you split the cost straight down the middle.
Turn Eating Out Back into a Treat
If you really want to get a handle on your weight problem, then first look at where you eat, second what you eat, and third how much you eat. If you absolutely cannot give up going to restaurants or fast food places every day, then you must start ordering plain, unadorned foods. I you can't do that (which I can't) then just go out less often. Turn it back into a treat, a special occasion type thing, and then eat whatever you want. Find what works for you, and then do it.
Train your Eye to Accept Less Food
Start training your eye to accept less food on the plate. We've taught ourselves to expect heaps of food, but your body doesn't need such huge quantities. Frankly, it takes a very tiny amount of food to supply our needed nutrients.
If they developed a pill which contained all the calories and nutrients our bodies required, no one would want to take it. We like to eat. Eating is pleasurable, it's part of the makeup and experience of being human. Take back control of that most basic of human needs. Cook at home for friends and bring joy back into your life through food.
If I Ate Out More Often I'd Gain Weight - it's That Simple
I know I maintain my weight with an average of about 2,200 calories a day. That's more than most dieters strive for, so how do I get away with eating that much -- I make better choices.
If I started eating out at restaurants more often, I'd suddenly be eating nearly double what I eat now (calorie wise), without even trying. Double the calories and guess what? Weight gain won't be far behind.
Trying to radically change your approach to food or exercise is rarely successful. More people that are successful at losing weight and keeping it off do so by making changes and incorporating them into their lifestyle. Start now. Choose one habit (such as eating out every day) or regular food you eat, and decide to cut back on how often, or the quantity. Set a plan, and do it.
Make a deal with yourself and keep it. If you find you cannot - that you set yourself too strict a cutback, then modify it and do it again. Keep at it and you'll be successful.
If you eat out every day during the week for lunch, here's a plan to make a small change. Carry your lunch one day a week, or save the extra from dinner out on Sunday night for lunch on Monday. Get together with your coworkers for a walking lunch every Wednesday. If there's a gym of fitness club in the vicinity of your work, join along with your coworkers and make an agreement to work out together three days a week, at lunch time. Take brown bag foods you can eat at your desk those days.
These small changes add up to big results. Try a couple in your daily life and see what happens.
Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
Get the Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
There are several ways to manage cravings. You can:
Attempt to stop eating the food you crave entirely (out of sight out of mind).
Modify your eating habits around a particular food, i.e. cut back on the quantity or how often you indulge.
Use EFT to end the attachment you have to this particular food.
1. Stop Eating the Food you Crave
Eliminating the offending food entirely is rarely successful. We can only limit ourselves for so long before we go crazy, eating everything in sight to make up for the deprivation. This also introduces deprivation and control issues, which many have trouble with leftover from childhood. Would it be better to learn to enjoy your favorites without losing control around them?
2. Modify your Eating Habits
Modifying your behavior can be successful, but it can also be difficult because even though we want to change, it seems that despite our best efforts, we still find ourselves craving the same things, day after day. It is the "how" that stops us. How can we change a behavior that is a habitual response? How can we stop doing what we don't want to do? There are literally thousands of diet and weight loss books and most offer nothing more useful than the "eat less, exercise more" advice. If it were simply a matter of doing what we know we should do, there would be no obesity epidemic, but it's not that simple. We need to know HOW.
3. Use EFT to end the Attachment to a Particular Food
EFT is often helpful to diminish or demolish the cravings. It can be your HOW. How to change habits that you want to be rid of, how to create new, better habits, that support what you want, instead of what you don't. EFT is simple to learn, and effective.
If you don't yet know how to do EFT, read this brief explanation, then download and print the worksheets, instructions and reminders all in one convenient PDF packet.
4. Stop Talking Yourself Into It
You've said you are going to stop nighttime snacking, and then the voices start, "I've been good all day, I deserve a treat, just one won't hurt..." You're basically talking yourself into it, and then you're off and running to the kitchen. Most of us find that once we say yes to that voice, there's no holding ourselves back.
As soon as you realize you are doing the "talk myself into it" routine, start using EFT immediately. Catching yourself in the act is difficult at first, but if you keep an open mind, you will start to notice. No matter where you are or what you are doing, you can instantly perform an EFT procedure on yourself, and get quick results. You don't need to wait until later, until the atmosphere is just right, or until you are alone or somewhere you can relax. You can do it while driving, you can do it in a crowd standing on the corner.
Examples of EFT for Ending Cravings
The first round you might notice the craving is somewhat reduced (or it could disappear entirely), but it will likely be lessened. Once you have done one round, re-rate your desire for the food, and if it is still high (more than a six), do another round of EFT right then:
Set-up: "Even though I still want to eat _________, I'm fine just the way I am."
Reminder: "Still want to eat _________."
While I'm doing the EFT round, I might find myself thinking things such as, "It's not that I want to eat them all, it's just that once I start I can't stop."
So, for the next round I'll use that statement:
Set-up: "Even though I can't stop eating cookies once I get started, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway."
Say the "even though" part with gusto, you really mean it! You are okay, just the way you are.
Reminder: "Can't stop"
This round might lead to, "That's not true, I can decide how much I want, I just don't want to limit myself," so the next round might be:
Set-up: "Even though I hate to limit myself, I deeply and completely..." or "Even though I don't want to limit myself," or whatever words fit your situation.
Reminder: "No limits"
Make this process yours and let your personal thoughts guide you. Doing this will help you unearth core issues and beliefs you may not have realized were there.
More often than not what happens with these simple and effective techniques is you will stop using them. Not because they don't work, but because they do. You will stop because you aren't ready to give up your eating habits - you like the food, you enjoy the taste, the pleasure you gain from the eating is greater than the pleasure you anticipate by making a change in your habits. It's as if you say to yourself, "Screw it, I don't care. I want it now, and I'm going to have it." Much like a small child, you are simply feeding your instant desire, and that's okay too.
Be gentle with yourself. Realize you will do this on occasion, and accept it. It doesn't make you a failure, it simply proves you are human. Accept yourself as you are. If you make a commitment to do the EFT exercises, even though you don't want to, you will reach success.
In my work reluctance to do something that will work explains why people continue to seek something new. They read new books, they try new diets (witness Atkins, now South Beach Diet), they ask each other (usually their overweight friends) what they are doing (why not ask someone without a weight problem instead?). The answer is they don't really want to make a change for the better, they just want the easy fix. Give me a pill, a simple food plan, make it easy for me, and I'll do it. I can keep on any plan for the short-term, lose some weight, then as I'm gaining it back I can just blame myself. It's my fault for stopping the diet. It's my fault, for not staying on the plan.
This is not a healthy way to live. Take back your power. You decide what you will or won't do every day. Stop giving that power to others - stop blaming yourself for not staying on someone else's plan, and make your own plan.
This is the single most important thing in anyone's change process: Realizing what you want for your health, your body, your life, is more important than what you get by the instant gratification.
Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
Get the Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
Attempt to stop eating the food you crave entirely (out of sight out of mind).
Modify your eating habits around a particular food, i.e. cut back on the quantity or how often you indulge.
Use EFT to end the attachment you have to this particular food.
1. Stop Eating the Food you Crave
Eliminating the offending food entirely is rarely successful. We can only limit ourselves for so long before we go crazy, eating everything in sight to make up for the deprivation. This also introduces deprivation and control issues, which many have trouble with leftover from childhood. Would it be better to learn to enjoy your favorites without losing control around them?
2. Modify your Eating Habits
Modifying your behavior can be successful, but it can also be difficult because even though we want to change, it seems that despite our best efforts, we still find ourselves craving the same things, day after day. It is the "how" that stops us. How can we change a behavior that is a habitual response? How can we stop doing what we don't want to do? There are literally thousands of diet and weight loss books and most offer nothing more useful than the "eat less, exercise more" advice. If it were simply a matter of doing what we know we should do, there would be no obesity epidemic, but it's not that simple. We need to know HOW.
3. Use EFT to end the Attachment to a Particular Food
EFT is often helpful to diminish or demolish the cravings. It can be your HOW. How to change habits that you want to be rid of, how to create new, better habits, that support what you want, instead of what you don't. EFT is simple to learn, and effective.
If you don't yet know how to do EFT, read this brief explanation, then download and print the worksheets, instructions and reminders all in one convenient PDF packet.
4. Stop Talking Yourself Into It
You've said you are going to stop nighttime snacking, and then the voices start, "I've been good all day, I deserve a treat, just one won't hurt..." You're basically talking yourself into it, and then you're off and running to the kitchen. Most of us find that once we say yes to that voice, there's no holding ourselves back.
As soon as you realize you are doing the "talk myself into it" routine, start using EFT immediately. Catching yourself in the act is difficult at first, but if you keep an open mind, you will start to notice. No matter where you are or what you are doing, you can instantly perform an EFT procedure on yourself, and get quick results. You don't need to wait until later, until the atmosphere is just right, or until you are alone or somewhere you can relax. You can do it while driving, you can do it in a crowd standing on the corner.
Examples of EFT for Ending Cravings
The first round you might notice the craving is somewhat reduced (or it could disappear entirely), but it will likely be lessened. Once you have done one round, re-rate your desire for the food, and if it is still high (more than a six), do another round of EFT right then:
Set-up: "Even though I still want to eat _________, I'm fine just the way I am."
Reminder: "Still want to eat _________."
While I'm doing the EFT round, I might find myself thinking things such as, "It's not that I want to eat them all, it's just that once I start I can't stop."
So, for the next round I'll use that statement:
Set-up: "Even though I can't stop eating cookies once I get started, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway."
Say the "even though" part with gusto, you really mean it! You are okay, just the way you are.
Reminder: "Can't stop"
This round might lead to, "That's not true, I can decide how much I want, I just don't want to limit myself," so the next round might be:
Set-up: "Even though I hate to limit myself, I deeply and completely..." or "Even though I don't want to limit myself," or whatever words fit your situation.
Reminder: "No limits"
Make this process yours and let your personal thoughts guide you. Doing this will help you unearth core issues and beliefs you may not have realized were there.
More often than not what happens with these simple and effective techniques is you will stop using them. Not because they don't work, but because they do. You will stop because you aren't ready to give up your eating habits - you like the food, you enjoy the taste, the pleasure you gain from the eating is greater than the pleasure you anticipate by making a change in your habits. It's as if you say to yourself, "Screw it, I don't care. I want it now, and I'm going to have it." Much like a small child, you are simply feeding your instant desire, and that's okay too.
Be gentle with yourself. Realize you will do this on occasion, and accept it. It doesn't make you a failure, it simply proves you are human. Accept yourself as you are. If you make a commitment to do the EFT exercises, even though you don't want to, you will reach success.
In my work reluctance to do something that will work explains why people continue to seek something new. They read new books, they try new diets (witness Atkins, now South Beach Diet), they ask each other (usually their overweight friends) what they are doing (why not ask someone without a weight problem instead?). The answer is they don't really want to make a change for the better, they just want the easy fix. Give me a pill, a simple food plan, make it easy for me, and I'll do it. I can keep on any plan for the short-term, lose some weight, then as I'm gaining it back I can just blame myself. It's my fault for stopping the diet. It's my fault, for not staying on the plan.
This is not a healthy way to live. Take back your power. You decide what you will or won't do every day. Stop giving that power to others - stop blaming yourself for not staying on someone else's plan, and make your own plan.
This is the single most important thing in anyone's change process: Realizing what you want for your health, your body, your life, is more important than what you get by the instant gratification.
Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
Get the Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
What to Do with the Leftovers?
Okay, tell me if you've ever done this: It's Monday late afternoon. You decided yesterday that starting today you were going to 1) eat right, and 2) start to get regular exercise, and 3) give up all your bad habits. So, you're picking things up around the house and starting to notice all the little bits and pieces of leftovers from the past weekend. Namely, cookies here, and small bits of candy there. In my house today I noticed I had three large shortbread cookies (I'm overly fond of shortbread cookies with icing), several bags of the candy that resemble real rocks which I keep saying I want to put in a jar, but I haven't found just the right jar (for display, you know), and the leftovers from the latest summer picnic, which in my case is about five pounds of fruit salad - not bad in itself, but I can only eat so much fruit salad.
And Then There's the Wine
Of course, I had to buy some wine at a tasting on Saturday (I always buy it, don't know why I think those wine tasting's are such a great deal - they always entice me to buy), and now there's an open bottle waiting.
So, my thoughts are, "Do I eat this, or not?" "Do I throw it away and WASTE it?" "Oh, my, dear no. That's not a good idea," I think. Oh, I just remembered there is also an entire plate of large cinnamon rolls (Cinnabon style) I made Friday night. They'll be stale soon. That's not good. It'd be such a shame to throw them all away, and I only ate one.
And so it goes. Do I talk myself into eating up the last remnants of the weekend, thus going into Tuesday and possibly Wednesday with the taste of weekend indulgence still on my lips, or do I decide, really decide, I've had enough? It's time to eat better, like I just said, last night. Remember last night? It seems so long ago now ...
What if We Just Start Tomorrow?
It's interesting how easily we talk ourselves right out of what we had decided yesterday was such a good idea. So what's wrong with just starting tomorrow? What's wrong is that tomorrow never comes. It's always today, right now. You'll never reach that elusive tomorrow. Yes, the date on the calendar changes, but you, standing where you are, right here, right now, are still here, in the present. You can't live in the past, nor can you live in the future. You can only live in the moment.
Decide Right Now: What Do you Want?
So if you want to decide, then decide right now. What do you want, really want for yourself? Do you want to continue to indulge yourself at every turn, or do you want to exercise just a bit more discipline and see if you can get into better shape? It's not about what you'll miss out on, it's about what you will gain. Better health, more energy, endurance. You'll feel better, you'll look better. It's all about what you'll gain, but in the immediate moment, it's so easy to think only of right now. Yes, but right now this would taste so good, wouldn't it, and there's always tomorrow.
I've found that when I make a mental shift, a real shift, not just a decision but a true change in my thinking, then I follow through, and not until then. All the times I try to talk myself into doing things that I don't really want to do, are not successful. Probably they're not successful because I don't really want to do them.
How do you get yourself motivated and stay that way? I start with a list. List all the reasons you want to lose some weight. Think in terms of a mini goal of five or 10 pounds. Make it a one month goal, not a lifetime goal. It's fine to have long-term goals, but if you really want to learn to change for good, then you need to make it something you can live with. Incorporate real change into your lifestyle and you can indulge at a holiday party without it making any difference; without it throwing you off the deep end. When you go on vacation you'll come back maybe a couple pounds heavier, but it won't matter. You'll have eaten what you wanted, you'll have had a wonderful time, and not stressed yourself over whether you're gaining weight.
Why I want to lose Weight
What's my first mini-goal? (1 week to 1 month)
What's my longer-term goal? (1 month to 1 year)
How strict must I be for this to work? (Pre-planned or legalized deviations works very well for many people)
Sometimes, especially if you use a plan that incorporates "legalized cheating" then you'll end up with some leftover food. Get used to getting rid of it. Give it away, throw it away, it really doesn't matter. You're not doing yourself any favor by eating all the leftovers. So what if the cinnamon rolls go stale? I ate one didn't I? I enjoyed it totally too. Others also ate some cinnamon rolls, and even if no one had any, did I make them to eat them all, or did I make them because I was in the mood to make cinnamon rolls? Does eating them all myself make any sense at all?
Sometimes I feel a little guilty making goodies and then giving them away because I think I'm not making it any easier for others to stick to their plans, but then I remember what I do in that situation, and I have to assume others are adult about how they decide to take care of themselves too. If I decide I'm going to eat in a more healthful manner, and someone brings something unexpected, it's not difficult in most all circumstances to simply say, "No, thanks. I already ate," or take some on a plate for later.
Since I don't go on "restrictive" diets, then I can incorporate pretty much anything into my day's food plan. I just eat it, when I'm hungry. I find it so much easier to base my eating on whether I'm hungry, than on whether something is there. Just because unexpected people show up, doesn't mean you use them, does it? Honestly, do you think anyone is upset when you leave a bit more for them? I don't think so.
The Case of the Missing Wedding Cake
When I was a teenager my mother remarried and I offered to buy the wedding cake. I had an ulterior motive though. My favorite bakery, Beaverton Bakery, was where I intended to get the cake, and I knew by ordering far more than would be necessary there'd be lots and lots of leftovers for me to gorge myself silly on after the festivities. Ha.
What happened instead is a blur. I don't know really what happened to the cake but I do know I not only didn't get any leftovers, I never even had a piece at the wedding. I tend to get caught up in the people and don't usually eat at parties, so I paid it no attention, and much to my dismay someone else had bundled it up before I got there to do so. Alas, I was never to taste that cake at all. Such a disappointment - it must have been, I still remember it now and that's been more than 24 years ago now! LOL.
Food memories stick with me for a very long time. That day is my prime example of how I would not have minded one little bit if more people had said, "No thanks, I just ate," and passed on the cake. I just wish I'd been a little more alert in setting aside a hunk for later.
Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
Get the Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
Okay, tell me if you've ever done this: It's Monday late afternoon. You decided yesterday that starting today you were going to 1) eat right, and 2) start to get regular exercise, and 3) give up all your bad habits. So, you're picking things up around the house and starting to notice all the little bits and pieces of leftovers from the past weekend. Namely, cookies here, and small bits of candy there. In my house today I noticed I had three large shortbread cookies (I'm overly fond of shortbread cookies with icing), several bags of the candy that resemble real rocks which I keep saying I want to put in a jar, but I haven't found just the right jar (for display, you know), and the leftovers from the latest summer picnic, which in my case is about five pounds of fruit salad - not bad in itself, but I can only eat so much fruit salad.
And Then There's the Wine
Of course, I had to buy some wine at a tasting on Saturday (I always buy it, don't know why I think those wine tasting's are such a great deal - they always entice me to buy), and now there's an open bottle waiting.
So, my thoughts are, "Do I eat this, or not?" "Do I throw it away and WASTE it?" "Oh, my, dear no. That's not a good idea," I think. Oh, I just remembered there is also an entire plate of large cinnamon rolls (Cinnabon style) I made Friday night. They'll be stale soon. That's not good. It'd be such a shame to throw them all away, and I only ate one.
And so it goes. Do I talk myself into eating up the last remnants of the weekend, thus going into Tuesday and possibly Wednesday with the taste of weekend indulgence still on my lips, or do I decide, really decide, I've had enough? It's time to eat better, like I just said, last night. Remember last night? It seems so long ago now ...
What if We Just Start Tomorrow?
It's interesting how easily we talk ourselves right out of what we had decided yesterday was such a good idea. So what's wrong with just starting tomorrow? What's wrong is that tomorrow never comes. It's always today, right now. You'll never reach that elusive tomorrow. Yes, the date on the calendar changes, but you, standing where you are, right here, right now, are still here, in the present. You can't live in the past, nor can you live in the future. You can only live in the moment.
Decide Right Now: What Do you Want?
So if you want to decide, then decide right now. What do you want, really want for yourself? Do you want to continue to indulge yourself at every turn, or do you want to exercise just a bit more discipline and see if you can get into better shape? It's not about what you'll miss out on, it's about what you will gain. Better health, more energy, endurance. You'll feel better, you'll look better. It's all about what you'll gain, but in the immediate moment, it's so easy to think only of right now. Yes, but right now this would taste so good, wouldn't it, and there's always tomorrow.
I've found that when I make a mental shift, a real shift, not just a decision but a true change in my thinking, then I follow through, and not until then. All the times I try to talk myself into doing things that I don't really want to do, are not successful. Probably they're not successful because I don't really want to do them.
How do you get yourself motivated and stay that way? I start with a list. List all the reasons you want to lose some weight. Think in terms of a mini goal of five or 10 pounds. Make it a one month goal, not a lifetime goal. It's fine to have long-term goals, but if you really want to learn to change for good, then you need to make it something you can live with. Incorporate real change into your lifestyle and you can indulge at a holiday party without it making any difference; without it throwing you off the deep end. When you go on vacation you'll come back maybe a couple pounds heavier, but it won't matter. You'll have eaten what you wanted, you'll have had a wonderful time, and not stressed yourself over whether you're gaining weight.
Why I want to lose Weight
What's my first mini-goal? (1 week to 1 month)
What's my longer-term goal? (1 month to 1 year)
How strict must I be for this to work? (Pre-planned or legalized deviations works very well for many people)
Sometimes, especially if you use a plan that incorporates "legalized cheating" then you'll end up with some leftover food. Get used to getting rid of it. Give it away, throw it away, it really doesn't matter. You're not doing yourself any favor by eating all the leftovers. So what if the cinnamon rolls go stale? I ate one didn't I? I enjoyed it totally too. Others also ate some cinnamon rolls, and even if no one had any, did I make them to eat them all, or did I make them because I was in the mood to make cinnamon rolls? Does eating them all myself make any sense at all?
Sometimes I feel a little guilty making goodies and then giving them away because I think I'm not making it any easier for others to stick to their plans, but then I remember what I do in that situation, and I have to assume others are adult about how they decide to take care of themselves too. If I decide I'm going to eat in a more healthful manner, and someone brings something unexpected, it's not difficult in most all circumstances to simply say, "No, thanks. I already ate," or take some on a plate for later.
Since I don't go on "restrictive" diets, then I can incorporate pretty much anything into my day's food plan. I just eat it, when I'm hungry. I find it so much easier to base my eating on whether I'm hungry, than on whether something is there. Just because unexpected people show up, doesn't mean you use them, does it? Honestly, do you think anyone is upset when you leave a bit more for them? I don't think so.
The Case of the Missing Wedding Cake
When I was a teenager my mother remarried and I offered to buy the wedding cake. I had an ulterior motive though. My favorite bakery, Beaverton Bakery, was where I intended to get the cake, and I knew by ordering far more than would be necessary there'd be lots and lots of leftovers for me to gorge myself silly on after the festivities. Ha.
What happened instead is a blur. I don't know really what happened to the cake but I do know I not only didn't get any leftovers, I never even had a piece at the wedding. I tend to get caught up in the people and don't usually eat at parties, so I paid it no attention, and much to my dismay someone else had bundled it up before I got there to do so. Alas, I was never to taste that cake at all. Such a disappointment - it must have been, I still remember it now and that's been more than 24 years ago now! LOL.
Food memories stick with me for a very long time. That day is my prime example of how I would not have minded one little bit if more people had said, "No thanks, I just ate," and passed on the cake. I just wish I'd been a little more alert in setting aside a hunk for later.
Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
Get the Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
I can't do that Until I Lose This Weight!
If you don't enjoy the life you've got because you think you don't look good in shorts or you can't bring yourself to wear a bathing suit, you're doing nothing more than wasting your life for nothing. Maybe you don't look like a bathing beauty but who does? I've heard so many people tell me that they would give anything to be at a weight they once were, but when questioned they almost always say, "Now that I think about it, I thought I was fat back then too," but guess what? They weren't. Those same people are sometimes shocked to see photos of themselves as a teenager or young adult; "Why I wasn't fat at all," they'll say.
Where do these fears originate except within our minds, and that makes me wonder - is this another way of the brain to try to keep us from taking the steps necessary to affect change? Remember, your brain will do what it can to keep things the way they are, at least at first, so crazy notions about the future may be clouding your judgment.
It's unlikely you'll hear someone on their death bed say, "If only I'd spent more hours at the job," but more likely they'll say, "I wish I'd spent more time with my family." Go ahead and spend that time now, doing what you love, being with people you enjoy. If you like being outdoors, be outdoors. Do you love the water but you haven't been in a pool for 20 years because you think you look awful in a swimming suit? Who cares? Go swimming, today, tomorrow, or next week. Just go.
It's Not Always About Us
Think about this: Sally cannot stand to go out because she doesn't want anyone to see her in a size 22 dress. She's embarrassed and too self consciousness, so she doesn't date. On her way to work one day she has to stop and buy some stamps. John passes her on the street on his way to the Post Office, but she didn't see him because she was looking at her shoes and feeling bad for herself. As John is walking toward the Post Office he's thinking about how he wants to workout at the gym but he can't seem to get himself started. After all, "Everyone will notice me and make fun of me." Mary, the clerk is wearing a dress that no longer fits because she's lost 25 lbs. yet she can't bring herself to buy new clothes because of, "What people might think." She's lost in her thoughts and almost gives John the wrong change, which he hardly notices because he's thinking about the gym and the horror of everyone noticing him and pointing.
Neither Sally, John or Mary see anyone but themselves. None of them noticed the other even when they had an opportunity. Surprisingly none of us is the center of attention expect perhaps at your own wedding, and sometimes not even then. Therefore, stop being so self-centered and get yourself out doing what you want to do. Sure there are always people who will make a rude remark, but hey, they do not know you. They don't know your situation. They don't know anything about you and probably never will, and guess what? They don't really care, which is why they have fun being rude to strangers, so why should you?
Show care where you can make a difference. Show care when you are able to help someone without expecting something in return. Life is short. The days go by in an endless stream from one moment to the next and what you do with this life is entirely up to you. It's not always about food.
Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
Get the Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
If you don't enjoy the life you've got because you think you don't look good in shorts or you can't bring yourself to wear a bathing suit, you're doing nothing more than wasting your life for nothing. Maybe you don't look like a bathing beauty but who does? I've heard so many people tell me that they would give anything to be at a weight they once were, but when questioned they almost always say, "Now that I think about it, I thought I was fat back then too," but guess what? They weren't. Those same people are sometimes shocked to see photos of themselves as a teenager or young adult; "Why I wasn't fat at all," they'll say.
Where do these fears originate except within our minds, and that makes me wonder - is this another way of the brain to try to keep us from taking the steps necessary to affect change? Remember, your brain will do what it can to keep things the way they are, at least at first, so crazy notions about the future may be clouding your judgment.
It's unlikely you'll hear someone on their death bed say, "If only I'd spent more hours at the job," but more likely they'll say, "I wish I'd spent more time with my family." Go ahead and spend that time now, doing what you love, being with people you enjoy. If you like being outdoors, be outdoors. Do you love the water but you haven't been in a pool for 20 years because you think you look awful in a swimming suit? Who cares? Go swimming, today, tomorrow, or next week. Just go.
It's Not Always About Us
Think about this: Sally cannot stand to go out because she doesn't want anyone to see her in a size 22 dress. She's embarrassed and too self consciousness, so she doesn't date. On her way to work one day she has to stop and buy some stamps. John passes her on the street on his way to the Post Office, but she didn't see him because she was looking at her shoes and feeling bad for herself. As John is walking toward the Post Office he's thinking about how he wants to workout at the gym but he can't seem to get himself started. After all, "Everyone will notice me and make fun of me." Mary, the clerk is wearing a dress that no longer fits because she's lost 25 lbs. yet she can't bring herself to buy new clothes because of, "What people might think." She's lost in her thoughts and almost gives John the wrong change, which he hardly notices because he's thinking about the gym and the horror of everyone noticing him and pointing.
Neither Sally, John or Mary see anyone but themselves. None of them noticed the other even when they had an opportunity. Surprisingly none of us is the center of attention expect perhaps at your own wedding, and sometimes not even then. Therefore, stop being so self-centered and get yourself out doing what you want to do. Sure there are always people who will make a rude remark, but hey, they do not know you. They don't know your situation. They don't know anything about you and probably never will, and guess what? They don't really care, which is why they have fun being rude to strangers, so why should you?
Show care where you can make a difference. Show care when you are able to help someone without expecting something in return. Life is short. The days go by in an endless stream from one moment to the next and what you do with this life is entirely up to you. It's not always about food.
Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
Get the Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
Some Say I'm Strange. I Prefer to Think of Myself as Resourceful
If you'd like to learn how to obtain quality chocolate, put it in a drawer and forget it's there, learn to use EFT and NLP techniques to conquer your emotional eating. That's what I've done, and it's such a freeing thing to be able to feel right with the world, be happy with myself, my shape, and not feel controlled by something like food. I eat what I want, but I do make an effort to make good choices (usually). For example, last night I baked a cake I made on Easter and totally loved (Better than Sex cake). This thing is nothing more than yellow cake, vanilla pudding and tons of whipped cream - not exactly diet fare, but when I can't get a certain food out of my head, I usually either make it or go and get it, and then totally enjoy it. That's what I mean when I said I eat what I want. So today, I have an entire cake in my refrigerator.
Did I have a piece of cake for breakfast? No. My husband bought me some fresh local raspberries at the Farmer's Market yesterday, and I wanted them so I had some on my cereal this morning. The cake sits and waits. When I was in the kitchen I noted the remnants of last night's grocery shopping. I saw a huge, individually wrapped cinnamon roll on the counter. I just "knew" I was going to want to eat something sweet last night since baking the cake was bound to make me crazy so I'd in anticipation of future hunger I bought the following:
One Giant cinnamon roll from Sarah's Bakery. (Oops, I weighed this bad boy and it's 15.5 Oz! Almost a pound of dough and sugar - oh my).
Small container of Scharffen Berger chocolates. This little clear box comes with 12 squares equalling 2.1 Oz. Individually wrapped. I put them in the drawer.
A dozen of my favorite shortbread cookies which I put in a drawer in the kitchen. My husband will eat them if he sees them, so unless he says something about "wanting something sweet" I wait to let him know they are there.
While watching a movie last night (Friday night ritual) I did start to get sort of hungry so I thought about what to do about it. I recalled how I'm feeling much better lately, getting back to a regular routine of exercise, and I just didn't feel like eating a lot of cookies. Yes, they were there, but I just wasn't in the mood to eat them. I had a pang of hunger, but I wasn't really hungry, it was nearly midnight for crying out loud!
So, I ate one of those chocolate squares - remember, they're pretty small right? Well I ate it in four bites, letting the chocolate melt in my mouth. I take my time with chocolates and they satisfy me so much more than just popping it in my mouth, chewing twice and swallowing. I'm not in a hurry to get it over with.
Discovering Lost Candy
This morning I checked my body fat and it just happens I keep my Omron Body Fat Analyzer in the closet on top of a leftover chocolates box from last Christmas. I decided to look inside the box since I thought there was one of those chocolates still leftover and I was surprised to find two of those Christmas chocolates in there (Joseph Schmidt truffles - some of my favorites) and about eight squares of that very same chocolate I bought yesterday (Scharffen Berger). I forgot they were there.
So, you see, I handle my cravings by buying the foods I want, then putting them away and maybe eating them, maybe not. For me it's the need to know I can have what I want - and keeping something nearby in case of emergencies. I also know if I leave things out where I'll see them, I'm much more likely to decide to have some, so I put them away. For you it may be different. Some of you won't want anything tempting in the house. That's okay too. We're all different. The only way you'll discover how you are is to tackle those emotional issues - the reasons you think you can't stop eating after a handful or two; the reasons you feel like it's out of your control, or not your decision how much you eat, when you eat or what you eat.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to buy your favorite food and leave it in a drawer long enough to forget it's even there? That's what it's like to not have an eating problem, and that comes from giving yourself permission to enjoy food. You are worthy, you do deserve to be happy.
My methods can help - I know because they've worked for me, and I truly have had a sweet tooth since I was a kid. I used to eat bag after bag of candy - I once had 11 cavities in one dentist visit!
Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
Get the Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
If you'd like to learn how to obtain quality chocolate, put it in a drawer and forget it's there, learn to use EFT and NLP techniques to conquer your emotional eating. That's what I've done, and it's such a freeing thing to be able to feel right with the world, be happy with myself, my shape, and not feel controlled by something like food. I eat what I want, but I do make an effort to make good choices (usually). For example, last night I baked a cake I made on Easter and totally loved (Better than Sex cake). This thing is nothing more than yellow cake, vanilla pudding and tons of whipped cream - not exactly diet fare, but when I can't get a certain food out of my head, I usually either make it or go and get it, and then totally enjoy it. That's what I mean when I said I eat what I want. So today, I have an entire cake in my refrigerator.
Did I have a piece of cake for breakfast? No. My husband bought me some fresh local raspberries at the Farmer's Market yesterday, and I wanted them so I had some on my cereal this morning. The cake sits and waits. When I was in the kitchen I noted the remnants of last night's grocery shopping. I saw a huge, individually wrapped cinnamon roll on the counter. I just "knew" I was going to want to eat something sweet last night since baking the cake was bound to make me crazy so I'd in anticipation of future hunger I bought the following:
One Giant cinnamon roll from Sarah's Bakery. (Oops, I weighed this bad boy and it's 15.5 Oz! Almost a pound of dough and sugar - oh my).
Small container of Scharffen Berger chocolates. This little clear box comes with 12 squares equalling 2.1 Oz. Individually wrapped. I put them in the drawer.
A dozen of my favorite shortbread cookies which I put in a drawer in the kitchen. My husband will eat them if he sees them, so unless he says something about "wanting something sweet" I wait to let him know they are there.
While watching a movie last night (Friday night ritual) I did start to get sort of hungry so I thought about what to do about it. I recalled how I'm feeling much better lately, getting back to a regular routine of exercise, and I just didn't feel like eating a lot of cookies. Yes, they were there, but I just wasn't in the mood to eat them. I had a pang of hunger, but I wasn't really hungry, it was nearly midnight for crying out loud!
So, I ate one of those chocolate squares - remember, they're pretty small right? Well I ate it in four bites, letting the chocolate melt in my mouth. I take my time with chocolates and they satisfy me so much more than just popping it in my mouth, chewing twice and swallowing. I'm not in a hurry to get it over with.
Discovering Lost Candy
This morning I checked my body fat and it just happens I keep my Omron Body Fat Analyzer in the closet on top of a leftover chocolates box from last Christmas. I decided to look inside the box since I thought there was one of those chocolates still leftover and I was surprised to find two of those Christmas chocolates in there (Joseph Schmidt truffles - some of my favorites) and about eight squares of that very same chocolate I bought yesterday (Scharffen Berger). I forgot they were there.
So, you see, I handle my cravings by buying the foods I want, then putting them away and maybe eating them, maybe not. For me it's the need to know I can have what I want - and keeping something nearby in case of emergencies. I also know if I leave things out where I'll see them, I'm much more likely to decide to have some, so I put them away. For you it may be different. Some of you won't want anything tempting in the house. That's okay too. We're all different. The only way you'll discover how you are is to tackle those emotional issues - the reasons you think you can't stop eating after a handful or two; the reasons you feel like it's out of your control, or not your decision how much you eat, when you eat or what you eat.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to buy your favorite food and leave it in a drawer long enough to forget it's even there? That's what it's like to not have an eating problem, and that comes from giving yourself permission to enjoy food. You are worthy, you do deserve to be happy.
My methods can help - I know because they've worked for me, and I truly have had a sweet tooth since I was a kid. I used to eat bag after bag of candy - I once had 11 cavities in one dentist visit!
Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
Get the Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
Telling yourself you have to "struggle with this weight issue for the rest of my life," is as good as telling yourself there's no point in trying. "Why bother? I'll just gain it right back. It's no use. I might as well eat more cake. Poor me. Life is hard. You know the drill. Life's a beach.
Stop the struggle by stopping the self talk that supports the struggle. You've heard it before - what you focus on is what you receive. No where is that more true than in believing it is a struggle to stay healthy. Who would want to be healthy if it's such a horrible struggle? Yet, you've probably seen people who are fit, healthy and happy? You might even know a few. They seem to bounce when they walk. They're animated, and excited about life, and no, if you asked them, they wouldn't say it's a struggle. "What do you mean," they'd ask? Struggle? Nah, I like it this way," and they'd mean it.
Forget the notion that you have to struggle and eat celery sticks for dinner. It's not true. Despite the fact that you've lost the weight before and gained it right back too, despite your belief that you can't even look at food without gaining weight. All of those thoughts are just more beliefs that are keeping you stuck. What you focus on becomes your reality.
What if You Never Got Hungry?
I'm a prime example. I don't struggle. Some days I eat a lot. Some days not so much. Some days very little. Yesterday I ate my usual breakfast and then, strangely, I just didn't feel hungry all day. I felt different somehow. Not ill, but I just didn't want to eat. "What's up with this?," I thought to myself, but I decided to just ride it out and see what happened. Well, I'm here to tell you that nothing happened. I lived to tell another story, see another day. Nothing fell from the sky and the world didn't stop spinning because I didn't eat much yesterday. It was just another day.
Today I ate a few handfuls of malted milk balls. No big deal to me, but I know many of you are thinking, "I'd never be able to eat just some, I'd have to eat them all," and that is my point. Telling yourself you can't eat "some," or as many as you want, but that you believe you'd be compelled to eat them all, no matter how many there were is a belief that is keeping you stuck. I don't believe that to be true, and so, for me it is not true.
Changing a Fundamental Belief with EFT
How do you change a fundamental belief? You start with basic EFT using it for everything that comes up, even though it may not seem related. Every worry, fear, doubt, struggle. Use it on everything, and those issues that do make a difference in your eating will start dissolving away. Try it - what have you got to lose but some weight?
What's EFT? It's Emotional Freedom Training and it's taking the world by storm as an easy, self administered practice to help reduce or eliminate the emotional issues that keep us stuck. Free information available at EmoFree.com. I added EFT to my toolkit as soon as I learned it because it's easy to learn, easy to use, and it's effective.
Remember those healthy folks I mentioned earlier? They don't view how they eat or how much they exercise as a struggle at all. They are active because they want to be active, and they eat foods that make them feel great. They probably eat a lot of the same things you eat too - I'm talking about everyday folks who have learned to feel good about themselves. None of them are perfect - despite the common belief that there is some "perfect" body, it's just not true. Everyone has a wrinkle here, extra skin there. Every single one of us is flawed in some way or another. It's what makes us unique.
Choose to focus on the benefits, rather than the sacrifice
Everything worthwhile takes effort - having a baby comes to mind. All mothers will likely agree that childbirth has its down side, but the ultimate reward makes it all worth it (yes, some women feel great while pregnant, but I wasn't one of them). Otherwise, everyone would be a single child. ;-) Think about it.
Becoming a professional musician or baseball player comes to many who played Little League and started practicing the piano when they were very small. Tiger Woods was only 3 or 4-years old when his father first taught him to hold a golf club. He also showed him videos of professional golfers when he sat in his high chair eating his dinner (his dad was a little odd, I'd say). Woods started playing golf at such a young age that he literally grew up playing the game. He wanted to play. His father undoubtedly drove him to work harder at it than most children would, but he had to have a strong drive of his own or he never would have made it. But what if he'd hit 6-year's old and suddenly said to himself, "I don't want to practice. I hate golf. I wanna play with my friends. I'll never be any good at his stupid game."
Maybe things would have turned out differently. The bottom line though is he did what he did because he wanted to (his parents obviously had a lot to do with it too), and the reward? Today he's considered the most gifted golfer of all time, and to what does he attribute his success? The practice and discipline of his mind. He learned from one of his primary coaches to harness the power of his mind - using NLP and hypnosis techniques (and likely he's since started to use EFT as well). Learn to use your mind to focus on the results you want - or conversely focus on avoiding what you do not want, and you'll win your prize, loving the process, instead of dreading it.
How to Get Started
Starting from right now, go get a box of toothpicks or something similar. Match sticks would work too, or marbles, or pencils, small rocks or twigs from the yard. Something small enough you can carry it with you. Whenever you catch yourself starting to say something negative like, "I don't want to ..., or, "I hate ...," or "I'm gonna strangle ..." Anything negative you catch yourself saying or beginning to say, whether towards yourself or someone else doesn't matter.
Start noticing how often you're feeding yourself negative energy. Then, apply the STOP technique as soon as you realize you are doing it, you yell (to yourself) STOP, and immediately replace what you were saying with something else. Here's what I mean:
"I hate having to wash the ... STOP ... it's nice getting a chance to stretch and bend while the car gets cleaned."
Yes, it's stiff and forced, at first. Anytime you attempt to change a behavior it will feel forced. Just allow yourself to learn to change your self talk, and that early discomfort with the process will pass. It will start to be fun to "catch" yourself. As soon as you start doing it, you'll realize how often you're been feeding yourself negativity, and you'll also see how easily you can change that habit.
Positive people tend to be happier people. I'm not suggesting you get a personality change, but I am suggesting, if you ultimately want to drop some weight and never see it again that you change your thinking from how much you'll have to struggle to how much better you're going to feel.
Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
Get the Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
Stop the struggle by stopping the self talk that supports the struggle. You've heard it before - what you focus on is what you receive. No where is that more true than in believing it is a struggle to stay healthy. Who would want to be healthy if it's such a horrible struggle? Yet, you've probably seen people who are fit, healthy and happy? You might even know a few. They seem to bounce when they walk. They're animated, and excited about life, and no, if you asked them, they wouldn't say it's a struggle. "What do you mean," they'd ask? Struggle? Nah, I like it this way," and they'd mean it.
Forget the notion that you have to struggle and eat celery sticks for dinner. It's not true. Despite the fact that you've lost the weight before and gained it right back too, despite your belief that you can't even look at food without gaining weight. All of those thoughts are just more beliefs that are keeping you stuck. What you focus on becomes your reality.
What if You Never Got Hungry?
I'm a prime example. I don't struggle. Some days I eat a lot. Some days not so much. Some days very little. Yesterday I ate my usual breakfast and then, strangely, I just didn't feel hungry all day. I felt different somehow. Not ill, but I just didn't want to eat. "What's up with this?," I thought to myself, but I decided to just ride it out and see what happened. Well, I'm here to tell you that nothing happened. I lived to tell another story, see another day. Nothing fell from the sky and the world didn't stop spinning because I didn't eat much yesterday. It was just another day.
Today I ate a few handfuls of malted milk balls. No big deal to me, but I know many of you are thinking, "I'd never be able to eat just some, I'd have to eat them all," and that is my point. Telling yourself you can't eat "some," or as many as you want, but that you believe you'd be compelled to eat them all, no matter how many there were is a belief that is keeping you stuck. I don't believe that to be true, and so, for me it is not true.
Changing a Fundamental Belief with EFT
How do you change a fundamental belief? You start with basic EFT using it for everything that comes up, even though it may not seem related. Every worry, fear, doubt, struggle. Use it on everything, and those issues that do make a difference in your eating will start dissolving away. Try it - what have you got to lose but some weight?
What's EFT? It's Emotional Freedom Training and it's taking the world by storm as an easy, self administered practice to help reduce or eliminate the emotional issues that keep us stuck. Free information available at EmoFree.com. I added EFT to my toolkit as soon as I learned it because it's easy to learn, easy to use, and it's effective.
Remember those healthy folks I mentioned earlier? They don't view how they eat or how much they exercise as a struggle at all. They are active because they want to be active, and they eat foods that make them feel great. They probably eat a lot of the same things you eat too - I'm talking about everyday folks who have learned to feel good about themselves. None of them are perfect - despite the common belief that there is some "perfect" body, it's just not true. Everyone has a wrinkle here, extra skin there. Every single one of us is flawed in some way or another. It's what makes us unique.
Choose to focus on the benefits, rather than the sacrifice
Everything worthwhile takes effort - having a baby comes to mind. All mothers will likely agree that childbirth has its down side, but the ultimate reward makes it all worth it (yes, some women feel great while pregnant, but I wasn't one of them). Otherwise, everyone would be a single child. ;-) Think about it.
Becoming a professional musician or baseball player comes to many who played Little League and started practicing the piano when they were very small. Tiger Woods was only 3 or 4-years old when his father first taught him to hold a golf club. He also showed him videos of professional golfers when he sat in his high chair eating his dinner (his dad was a little odd, I'd say). Woods started playing golf at such a young age that he literally grew up playing the game. He wanted to play. His father undoubtedly drove him to work harder at it than most children would, but he had to have a strong drive of his own or he never would have made it. But what if he'd hit 6-year's old and suddenly said to himself, "I don't want to practice. I hate golf. I wanna play with my friends. I'll never be any good at his stupid game."
Maybe things would have turned out differently. The bottom line though is he did what he did because he wanted to (his parents obviously had a lot to do with it too), and the reward? Today he's considered the most gifted golfer of all time, and to what does he attribute his success? The practice and discipline of his mind. He learned from one of his primary coaches to harness the power of his mind - using NLP and hypnosis techniques (and likely he's since started to use EFT as well). Learn to use your mind to focus on the results you want - or conversely focus on avoiding what you do not want, and you'll win your prize, loving the process, instead of dreading it.
How to Get Started
Starting from right now, go get a box of toothpicks or something similar. Match sticks would work too, or marbles, or pencils, small rocks or twigs from the yard. Something small enough you can carry it with you. Whenever you catch yourself starting to say something negative like, "I don't want to ..., or, "I hate ...," or "I'm gonna strangle ..." Anything negative you catch yourself saying or beginning to say, whether towards yourself or someone else doesn't matter.
Start noticing how often you're feeding yourself negative energy. Then, apply the STOP technique as soon as you realize you are doing it, you yell (to yourself) STOP, and immediately replace what you were saying with something else. Here's what I mean:
"I hate having to wash the ... STOP ... it's nice getting a chance to stretch and bend while the car gets cleaned."
Yes, it's stiff and forced, at first. Anytime you attempt to change a behavior it will feel forced. Just allow yourself to learn to change your self talk, and that early discomfort with the process will pass. It will start to be fun to "catch" yourself. As soon as you start doing it, you'll realize how often you're been feeding yourself negativity, and you'll also see how easily you can change that habit.
Positive people tend to be happier people. I'm not suggesting you get a personality change, but I am suggesting, if you ultimately want to drop some weight and never see it again that you change your thinking from how much you'll have to struggle to how much better you're going to feel.
Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of OneMoreBite-Weightloss.com
Get the Daily Bites: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
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